Comedian Quotes

I was a precocious child.

I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like.

I knew 'Be Our Guest' would be performed on a set and in costume, but anyone with a history in Theatre In Education will know that can mean anything.

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.

Health food shops can make people feel very important; it's like a brand new religion with people trying to convert you to quinoa.

A problem shared is attention gained.

I've been doing comedy and paying my bills.

I'm telling a Richard Pryor story through me.

I would love to play Magnum P.I.

I watch old school film so that I can learn so much that I just sort of miss all the new stuff.

I used to be a dusty little child.

I think in life, the sense of humor and comedy always exists.

I love Richard Pryor. I love him to death.

I left Indiana, and I ain't been back since. I've been doing comedy and paying my bills.

I don't know why people think I'm this ad-lib dude.

I can remember when I was a baby and my mother was there watching the show. I went and bought 100 episodes and watched them. I respect it so much that the sitcom itself and Ed Norton; I'm not playing Ed Norton but my version of it, cause I'm a black man.

You know, you can't make the people do what you want them to do.

You know, my life's changed now. I'm starting to experience what people are really supposed to do. You supposed to be married. You're supposed to have a family, kids, treat your wife right.

With Ice Cube they ain't no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.

I'm humble enough to wait and just chill. I'm having fun just working with these good people, man.

I'm gonna have to develop myself. I'm just going to do the best that I can do.

I learned that you don't have to be all over the place, that you can be subtle and you can say what you say. The words that you put together can be just as hilarious as falling all over the place or doing something.

I don't know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain't even never been to a wedding.

Honestly, I feel like I am a leading man, and it's just going to take the right project, the female and the right studio. It's got to all gel together, you know what I mean?

Federal prison, if you get any of it, you're going to have to do 85% of it. And the reason why I called it that is because I had a friend who got sent to the federal joint and his whole... it wasn't about him being in jail. He cried about the 85%.

Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.

Every now and then you get a nice Jewish kid who likes black people and they would come in, and it would be a stream of them, and have black friends and really feel the black struggle on the acting tip and it's a reason why all of us are not dying in the movie.

Cedric, man, it's like if I'm working with you, like I'm sitting here now talking to you, I want to get along with you. That's how I am. I feel like if I get along with you, the work will be splendid.

Just the fact that I'm in the game is great. I'm just blessed to be working. I got a plan, but I'm humble and I try to be humble.

I'm a survivor of life. I try to give the glory to God and appreciate what's happening to me.