Celebrity Quotes

It ain't about if he knocks a guy out. It's about how he knocks a guy out. It's the style, the improvisation.

If you cast your bread upon the water and you have faith, you'll get back cash. If you don't have faith, you'll get soggy bread.

I'm an ardent American Football fan.

I'm a promoter of the people for the people and by the people and my magic lies in my people ties. I'm a promoter of America. I'm American people. You know what I mean? So therefore, uh, do not send for who the bell tolls 'cause the bell tolls for thee.

I will fight for America until the day I drop.

I don't promote boxing, I promote people. Boxing is a catalyst to bring people together.

He worked for the day when all people would be clothed in dignity.

You can be the greatest guy in the world but if you ain't got no heart, you ain't gonna survive.

If a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't bump his behind every time he hopped.

Hypocrisy is the mother of all evil and racial prejudice is still her favourite child.

Martin Luther King took us to the mountain top: I want to take us to the bank.

The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it.

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.

Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion.

People's lives are boring.

On Letterman and Leno, it always bothers me when they go outside the studio and it's daytime.

No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do.

My definition of cursing is probably different from what other people's definitions are.

My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians.

It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.

If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted.

I'm a terrible golfer.

I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.

I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that's an excuse to keep reading all the comic books.

I only get unusual ailments.

I never imagined being on television.

I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?

I have like fifteen televisions in my house.

I have had a lot of experience in broadcasting.

I go to Costco every weekend. It's my favorite part of the week.