American Quotes

Of all the Jedis I saw in the film, Yoda's the only one I like.

The thing with Bill Shatner is he brings something unique to everything he does. He's not the obvious choice for anything, but he always brings something special to it.

My dad is awesome.

I was an angst-y journal writing kid.

I kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.

I just wanted to compile these stories about growing up with my father and I wanted people to be able to enjoy them individually, but also the entire book as a whole.

I feel like if I'm going to give you a book about my dad, then I really want to give you my dad, because he is interesting and he is funny and if you're buying a book about him, I don't want you to have to sit through stuff that's not him.

I almost feel like I'm unoffendable now. I can roll with whatever.

Before I proposed to my now-wife, I was understandably nervous. My father suggested that I take stock of all of my experiences and relationships with women, from my earliest memories to present day, and see if I had learned anything that might inform my decision.

Although Kurt Vonnegut may not be considered a humor writer, 'Breakfast of Champions' is one of the funniest books I've ever read.

There is no definitive guidebook on how to pick the right partner, and even if there were, I'm way too dumb to write it.

The Internet has really democratized ideas. There are no real gatekeepers any more, because if you have a great idea, and you put it online, people will find it and it will get in front of who it needs to get in front of.

I'm not a guy who curses very much in my personal life. When I curse it sounds like a kid trying to be cool. But I think there are quite a few people, my father being one of them, who use curse words rather eloquently.

The way you look for songs, you find yourself looking for little signals and clues about life and how things are.

The first time with artistic endeavors is, if it's working, it was your idea, and if it's not, it's somebody else's idea.

Religion is a strange, wonderful thing. More crimes have been committed in the name of righteousness than any other notion.

People think because you're private, you have something you don't want them to know.

My theory is if you have a religion, it's a good one. Because some people don't have any at all.

My best album is called In Search Of A Song. That was my best shot right there. My finest hour, as they say. I could listen to the whole thing all the way through. There's nothing really crammed into it.

It used to be that you'd have a song recorded by a major country artist and if it was a hit, you could buy a car. Now you can buy a dealership.

If Barbara Walters was interviewing me, I'd figure her career was as dead as mine!

I was well traveled, and I created this illusion of literacy through reading and writing. I wrote a book of short stories.

I was quite a reader before I became a writer.

I took up a sort of a hobby of just hanging around the local library. I'd pick out an author and I would read all their books.

I never hid out. I was never big enough a star.

I never fixed a story. I didn't make judgments, I let the listener make judgments. When I got to the end of the story, if it had a moral, I let the listener find it.

I have my own religion. I'm sort of one-quarter Baptist, one-quarter Catholic, one-quarter Jewish.

I have had hundreds of people work for me over the years, and I don't think I ever fired anybody.

I had the notion that I wanted to write the great dirty American novel, so I went to Roanoke College on the GI Bill.

I am a fan of history.