If you make decisions based upon people's reactions or judgments then you make really boring choices.
I only do this because I'm having fun. The day I stop having fun, I'll just walk away.
I'm not good at future planning. I don't plan at all. I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't have a day planner and I don't have a diary. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future.
You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.
You can have good writing, but a great actor will make it feel and sound like great writing. You can have great writing, and mediocre actors will make it feel mediocre. Without the actors, you have nothing.
With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head.
The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.
The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them.
Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it.
My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.
Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer.
Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh.
I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.
I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time.
I actually like talking.
Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them.
There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.
I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.
Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?
I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.
I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.
We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!
I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?
I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.
No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They're always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about.
Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.
My sister is a nurse and saves people's lives.
My heritage is English, so I'm proud to be back here.
