Comedian Quotes

I think I invented the phrase 'Don't overdo it.'

I really wasn't a class clown.

I never played music, but it's an important thing ... the studying, the inspiration.

I never played a musical instrument growing up but I knew kids who did and took it very seriously.

I had my boy in Boston on Easter Sunday. That kills me, from a sports perspective. He's a Boston baby and I'm a New York guy.

I don't want to be known as this goody-two-shoes who can only do comedies where puppies are licking peanut butter off my face.

I could never be James Bond.

From there, I tried out for a community theatre play, joined an improv group... it all started opening up.

For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere.

Every time I do a movie where it gets physical, I say never again.

Every few months I'll pop into a comedy club or go to Vegas.

Back in '93 I saw my first UFC fight and just became enamored by it then.

A song can take you to a special time in your life.

I just want to put some positive stuff out there. If it works, great. If it doesn't, no problem.

I had many teachers that were great, positive role models and taught me to be a good person and stand up and be a good man. A lot of the principals they taught me still affect how I act sometimes and it's 30 years later.

As American as an apple is and as American as baseball is, they don't go together. You can't be chewing an apple at a baseball game. You've got to let go of the diet that day.

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

Religion is man's attempt to bind himself back to a relationship with God.

Now, I don't mind making fun of those preachers who steal money from people, they kind of deserve it.

Maybe if I could ever be a successful comedian then I could be an example that Christians can also have fun.

Maybe I'll learn how, but the only thing I can do is turn down parts that would hurt my conscience.

Maybe entertainment is not supposed to be reality.

It was the best job I ever had. I just left because my whole team was leaving and the new guys were coming.

I've never been in the music industry, only acting.

I've had a lot of struggles and I would be in a lot of trouble, I think, if I wasn't a Christian.

I wasn't really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live - I'm not like an impressionist or anything.

I was the only Christian on the cast, but that was cool because we all respected each others talent and mostly they respected me a lot even though I was the only Christian.

I thought it was a really good contrast to have a really sweet, sincere, church girl sitting next to the church lady who seemed kind of, you know, over the top.

I think the reason they cast me as the good girls is because they couldn't find any in Hollywood.