Comedian Quotes

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.

There are so many opportunities that I could've gotten before if I had just took a little more of a risk.

Obviously, at this age, I've lost people in my life. But with a parent, it's just different. I was very attached to my father and had this naive little-girl notion that he'd always be around. So I'm finding acceptance of my father's death is the hardest thing to accept.

My stand-up act is very clean.

My kind of gay, meeting a woman and falling in love, is a different experience because it wasn't anything about 'Oh, I've always been gay and I'm breaking the chains.'

My kind of gay is like the late-breaking-lesbian kind of gay.

My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention.

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it.'

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.

My father was a huge influence on me.

I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't understand their comedy or their sensibility.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a 'yes.' So it's worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

I'm always a big fan of if you approach somebody politely about something and you're not a nudge - you're just pretty honest and simple, my kind of philosophy is that I'm not afraid of 'no,' and that's way different than 'I won't take no for an answer.'

I think what I would say to my younger self, and probably to younger, just starting-out writers is that a lot of times you're just afraid to put yourself out there, and it's uncomfortable because it's working up the courage to do something, to push yourself to do those things.

I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there's got to be one more way to really tick off my mom.

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.

I feel I've always got to keep my stand-up because I never want to lose it.

I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time.

I always say to women, 'Take advantage of the fact that you're in the minority, don't see it as a disadvantage. You're that much more unique when there's fewer of you.'

Honestly, so much of my book is about the best things in my life have happened since I'm 40.

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.

Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

Yeah, that came out of a reading. It was great. It's such a fun crew to be with, and we all went out the night before and that really encouraged us to go out and get drunk.

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it.

The thing I gravitated to was being the class clown. It was very competitive.

Rehearsals make a huge difference.

Most of the great directors I've worked with - De Palma, Spike Lee - like rehearsals.

Marriage is wild. I thought it was this perfect land of happiness and joy. Wrong! After you say you do, you don't for a long time.