American Quotes

What you think means more than anything else in your life. More than what you earn, more than where you live, more than your social position, and more than what anyone else may think about you.

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

You do not know what you can miss before you try.

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter.

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less.

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

Christmas is over and Business is Business.

We have nothing in our history or position to invite aggression; we have everything to beckon us to the cultivation of relations of peace and amity with all nations.

There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.

Too much truth is uncouth.

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Having imagination it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that if you were unimaginative would take you only a minute.

Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

You aren't going to leave me alone are you?

Well, we could tell them that we're here on an archeological expedition.

All the dreamers in all the world are dizzy in the noodle.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it.

I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much.

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.

I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

In all parts of the Old World, as well as of the New, it was evident that Columbus had kindled a fire in every mariner's heart. That fire was the harbinger of a new era, for it was not to be extinguished.

No one ever attains success by simply doing what is required of him.

No student ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him: it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required, that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction.