Actor Quotes

I became an adult before I had a kid, which I highly recommend. I just like to throw her around. She's a really good snuggler, and she likes to give kisses and hugs.

Guys like Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Sacha Baron Cohen, they do things you love to watch. I like to do the other half.

By definition, gay is smart. I see plenty of macho heterosexual idiots, but nine times out of 10 you can have a great conversation if you find a gay guy.

And I've always loved commercials. I like working out how to organically weave a brand's message into the writing process. It's like an improv show, where comics ask the audience to throw out a word and a skit is built around it.

Acting is just playing the violin in an orchestra. Directing is being the conductor.

A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it.

I love a massage. I'd go every day if I could. I don't need to be wrapped in herbs like a salmon fillet, but I do love a massage.

Tony Hale is a devout Christian and is a complete retard when it comes to swearing. The script called for him to swear for about 30 seconds and he just couldn't do it.

I'm an artist. So if acting doesn't work out, which I hope it does, I'm probably going to go into graphic design or something like that.

I love sports - if I'm not acting, I'm probably doing sports.

We are people with all the hopes, dreams, passions, and faults of everyone else. Eighty percent of us are born into families with no history of dwarfism.

Try being my size and going into a public restroom.

The name of my condition is Cartilage Hair Syndrome Hypoplasia, but you can just call me Billy.

The general public thinks all little people are in circuses or sideshows. We have doctors, nurses, just about every field covered.

This is the age of insincerity. The movies had the misfortune to come along in the twentieth century, and because they appeal to the masses there can be no sincerity in them.

I've got a lot of ham in me.

I can remember when nobody believed an actor and didn't care what he believed.

Hollywood is tied hand and foot to the demands for artificiality of the masses all over the world.

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.