Writer Quotes

Where it all will end, knows God.

Our writers are full of cliches just as old barns are full of bats. There is obviously no rule about this, except that anything that you suspect of being a cliche undoubtedly is one and had better be removed.

Backward ran sentences until reeled the mind.

Where there's a will - there's a relative!

Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!

Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away.

Why by a book when you can join a library.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it.

You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.'

The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.

I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future.

Understanding the laws of nature does not mean that we are immune to their operations.

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.

Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.

There is no morality by instinct. There is no social salvation in the end without taking thought; without mastery of logic and application of logic to human experience.

Social distinctions concern themselves ultimately with whom you may and may not marry.

Originality usually amounts only to plagiarizing something unfamiliar.

One of the reasons, surely, why women have been credited with less perfect veracity than men is that the burden of conventional falsehood falls chiefly on them.

Educational legislation nowadays is largely in the hands of illiterate people, and the illiterate will take good care that their illiteracy is not made a reproach on them.

Conventional manners are a kind of literacy test for the alien who comes among us.

The real drawback to the simple life is that it is not simple. If you are living it, you positively can do nothing else. There is not time.

Ignorance of what real learning is, and a consequent suspicion of it; materialism, and a consequent intellectual laxity, both of these have done destructive work in the colleges.

Civilization is merely an advance in taste: accepting, all the time, nicer things, and rejecting nasty ones.

Simplicity is an acquired taste. Mankind, left free, instinctively complicates life.

All violations of essential privacy are brutalizing.

When a man lies he murders some part of the world. These are the pale deaths men miscall their lives.