Steve Allen Quotes

Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized.

The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake.

One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.

In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.

If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.

If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.

Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

Dark energy is perhaps the biggest mystery in physics.

Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.