Stephen Leacock Quotes

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.

It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.

A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.