Novelist Quotes

Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more.

A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom.

Did they preach one thing and practice another, these men of God?

Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours he has been in a different place with totally different people.

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours, a fixed salary, and very little original thinking to do.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat.

Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.

Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!

Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.