American Quotes

He had delusions of adequacy.

Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.

The longing to produce great inspirations didn't produce anything but more longing.

If peace only had the music and pageantry of war, there'd be no wars.

An industrious sinner I much prefer to a lazy saint.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessary think of chairs.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

The status quo is the only solution that cannot be vetoed.

I find that the three major administrative problems on a campus are sex for the students, athletics for the alumni and parking for the faculty.

A university anywhere can aim no higher than to be as British as possible for the sake of the undergraduates, as German as possible for the sake of the public at large-and as confused as possible for the preservation of the whole uneasy balance.

You can't teach the old maestro a new tune.