Adam Carolla Quotes

I mean, we sit around and we go, you know, 'Torture doesn't work.' Well, it's been around for 5,000 years. Most stuff that doesn't work goes the way of the dodo pretty quick, like waterbeds and 8-tracks and things like that.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm n

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.

I get depressed at airports.

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.

I don't know anything about computers.

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

I am not a good cue card reader.

Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.