Actor Quotes

In case you haven't caught the commercials, I'm in the new SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.

I'm six foot four, an all-American guy, and handsome and talented as well!

I started training for musicals since I was a boy.

I wanted to play around with the format, really tear it to pieces and shake it up. For example, if Mitch saves someone from drowning, and that person then goes out and releases a virus that kills a million people. Imagine the moral implications of that.

Other than my foundation - mentoring programs - everything I do is for money.

I'm a comedian first. I've learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that's how I've learned. I didn't take classes or anything. I don't need no classroom.

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.

Hollywood is run by people who sit up in their executive office, who are not connected to Mississippi, Alabama, Chicago, South Carolina. They know nothing about that, they don't go to church, and they make their decisions about what they think is right.

Being on a comedy tour is like traveling with family, everyone is all having a great time... then all of a sudden it turns sour. One thing gets said out of turn, and everyone is on everyone's last nerve. After an hour of silence, we all start laughing about it.

My mother raised me in the church. I was not allowed to stay home on Sunday; there was no option. I sang in the choir all the way up until I went to college.

I'm not a relationship expert. I'm an expert on manhood.

Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan. We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted.

I have seen some crazy people do some crazy things on my variety show. I have to stop and ask them a lot of the time, just how they figured out that they could do the things that they do, some of it is just plain freaky.

I'm not really a relationship expert but ...I'm an expert on manhood and what men think.

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.

The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high.

How can smart women be so stupid about men sometimes? Lack of knowledge. It's what men have kept secret for so long.

A guy that's really serious about you, he's gotta be talking to you, he's gotta want to have one-on-one, in-your-face interaction. That's how we are.

Women are the real reason we get up every day. I'm talking about real men. If there were no women, I would not even have to bathe, because why would I care? These are guys I'm hanging with. I wake up for a woman every day of my life to make it happen for her.

Failure is a great teacher, and I think when you make mistakes and you recover from them and you treat them as valuable learning experiences, then you've got something to share.

If a man loves you... he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancee, his wife, his baby's mama, something.

God lets you be successful because he trusts you that you will do the right thing with it. Now, does he get disappointed often? All the time, because people get there and they forget how they got it.

We English have sex on the brain. Not the best place for it, actually.

You know what? I'm really attracted to British women, there's something innately proper about them. However badly they behave their accent is so cute that it makes up for everything!

We made 16 episodes of Cracker and I loved doing the show, but unfortunately no one was watching us.

My friends and I make short films. We pretended to rob the Dairy Queen where our friend worked, but someone thought we were real thieves and called the cops! Soon, the cops burst in with guns drawn!

It's not scary to make a horror film because you get to pull back the curtain and see that none of it's real. When you're watching one, the terror bombards you.

I'm very 'spur of the moment'. I'm always trying to think of fun things to do to create a memory.

I'm quiet, and I don't enjoy watching horror flicks, so am I like Zeke? No way.

I should be getting photographs of me with my arm around these people like restaurant owners do, because eventually I am going to have to prove to my kids that once I was an actor!