Doug Larson Quotes

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.