American Quotes

After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

Picture you upon my knee, just tea two and two for tea.

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

If you hang around long enough to show these people what you can do, you have a chance in this acting business.

At 24, my head was as shiny as a cue ball on a billiard table. I naturally thought this meant curtains. Actually, I found it helped. When I was too young to play real character parts, they mistook me for older because of the bald noggin. I got juicy roles right from the start.

Whenever people get to see you, it's a great thing. Once people see an image and see the character, they can get into the music a lot more.

There's no point for me to party. I have a girl that I love. I don't need that.

People are so opinionated about things, and they don't even know what they're talking about, or can't even do it themselves.

I'll do anything for $50. People are always trying to get me to do dumb things. The possibilities are endless.

I was interested in maintaining the dignity and the hearts of the songs, letting them breathe and become what they are.

I wanted the songs to be themselves, instead of worrying about all this crazy slickster production.

I started playing guitar kind of by accident.

I got quite the college experience.

Baseball is a red-blooded sport for red-blooded men. It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out.

Running with the wrong crowd will never help you.

Hotness is uniqueness and just being yourself - that's hot.

Sometimes the most happy people in life are the ones with nothing. We can't lose sight of the little things in life that should make us the happiest.

Write the kind of story you would like to read. People will give you all sorts of advice about writing, but if you are not writing something you like, no one else will like it either.

My original inspiration was my mom: a few years after the death of my dad, she started dating one my teachers!

My favorite book of all time is Cold Comfort Farm, by Stella Gibbons.

I was too lazy to start a whole new story, so I just stuck a princess into the story I was working on... and The Princess Diaries was born!

No matter how nice the company one might be with, however, it is never pleasant to have a rifle pointed at one's back.