Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
“And it sends an important message to me, because I am sick to death to hear my opponent saying Republicans don't trust me. They do trust me, in landslide proportions, and they're proving it tonight. We're going to bury that for good.”
“God ceases to be God only for those who can admit the possibility of His non-existence, and that conception is in itself the most severe punishment they can suffer.”