“I'm on 'Two and a Half Men,' and I don't want to be on it. Please stop watching it, please stop filling your head with filth. People say it's just entertainment. Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you, you'll have a decision to make when it comes to televisio”

“The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.”