However far fiction writers stray from their own lives and experiences - and I stray pretty far from mine - I think, ultimately, that we may be writing what we need to write in some way, albeit unconsciously.
I think if you're able to make the music you want and you can do it in the right kind of context, you don't have to be a circus ringleader to be successful.
If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.