A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don't feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I'd love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I'm not one of the boys.
I think at that time I obviously wasn't aware of what I really needed. But conversely, my wanting to prove something to everyone was beneficial 'cause if I hadn't done it then, maybe I'd never have done it.