The process is very gradual, you see. At first there's the tainted stage; they know what will eventually happen to them if they go on but they say, 'Oh God, don't do it to me do it again, please, please.'
“I thought that when I won the Olympic trials I was going to be the happiest person in the whole world. And I was happy. But it wasn't like I thought it was going to be. I had already imagined it in my head so many times. It was real before it happened.”