That's one of the things about getting older isn't it? You suddenly realise that you are what you set out to be. And there are no role models any more.
“You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.”
“Militarism is basically a way of thinking, a certain interpretation of the function of the state; this manner of thinking is, moreover, revealed by its outer forms: by armaments and state organization.”