I don't even know who that person was in the '80s. I see pictures of myself from back then and I don't even recognize myself.
You don't go around grieving all the time, but the grief is still there and always will be.
It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can see it intellectually, as well as emotionally, and I don't know whether you've noticed, but if somebody tells a joke, it's nearly always a mini fantasy.