That's what it is that you rehearse - the making of music, not the playing of notes as abstractions.
For us to maintain our way of living, we must tell lies to each other and especially to ourselves. The lies are necessary because, without them, many deplorable acts would become impossibilities.
Some times you lose more than you win. It's about handling losses and trying to turn them into positives. You get out into the big leagues and there's a period of adjustment to be made. You've got to handle it.

