There's a lot to be said for doing what you're not supposed to do, and the rewards of doing what you're supposed to do are more subtle and take longer to become apparent, which maybe makes it less attractive. But your life is the blueprint you make after the building is built.
If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, your life will be safe, expedient and thin.
I didn't care at all about losing, but I just didn't want Emerson to feel bad, You know, I didn't win, but Felicity won, and when you come to the set next time, you can give her a big congratulations.