This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it, human and otherwise, are imaginary, excepting only certain of the fairy folk, whom it might be unwise to offend by casting doubts on their existence. Or lack thereof.
You have to find out what's right for you, so it's trial and error. You are going to be all right if you accept realistic goals for yourself.
She is still less civilized than man, largely because she has not been educated.

