My first impression when I made it through was 'Good, because I'm going to prove to you that I deserve to be here', because they told me that sometimes I lack confidence in my performance and sometimes I'm not as consistent as they'd like me to be.
I hadn't been free from adult responsibilities since I was 12, and I needed to experience that. I really needed to just be a kid again.
On the fortieth day after his death, we held the ceremony, and I performed for the very first time.

