I gave away two dogs years ago because I felt guilty at not being able to give them the time and attention they deserved. I now regularly feed an army of squirrels and wild birds around our house.
“I need to make sure that when I'm running out to the drugstore I'm not wearing a Biore strip or something. Not that I expect anyone to recognize me, but on the off chance they do, I just don't want to embarrass myself.”