“I'm on 'Two and a Half Men,' and I don't want to be on it. Please stop watching it, please stop filling your head with filth. People say it's just entertainment. Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you, you'll have a decision to make when it comes to televisio”

“I will undoubtedly have to seek what is happily known as gainful employment, which I am glad to say does not describe holding public office.”