I have photographs taken of me at the time I was addicted, and thought I looked good. I see them today and realize my eyes were dead.
You can have immediate regrets, but if you look at stuff and say, 'Things happen for a reason', there's a fatalistic thing about it. Something will happen that will justify it in some way.
It's good to know you're working for someone you're familiar with, who's a friend and he has your back and you have his back also.