The only thing I like more than my wife is my money, and I'm not about to lose that to her and her lawyers, that's for damn sure.
“If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.”
“I think I write fiction for the opportunity to get beyond the limits of my own life.”