You're just sort of searching for this 'thing' and sometimes you get it and sometimes you don't. All music is imperfect, but in jazz since you're improvising, at least the way I play, I'm trying to follow my train of thought in a solo.
“Children are so creative and imaginative that they just bring you to life all over again.”
“Governments oppress people, but so do mobs. You need to avoid both to make progress.”