You're just sort of searching for this 'thing' and sometimes you get it and sometimes you don't. All music is imperfect, but in jazz since you're improvising, at least the way I play, I'm trying to follow my train of thought in a solo.
“I find that whoever you are as a person is how you're gonna fight, and every basic instinct kind of comes out at that moment.”
“Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”