“Bananas are great, as I believe them to be the only known cure for existential dread. Also, Mother Teresa said that in India, a woman dying in the street will share her banana with anyone who needs it, whereas in America, people amass and hoard as many bananas as they can to sell for an exorbitant p”

“Before high school ended, I started applying to college. It really wasn't even a choice because of the brainwashing of my parents.”