“One day I promised God that if he would give me my voice back I would never smoke again. I got three octaves back after quitting.”

“My biggest complaint about drivers out in the country has tended to be that they're not in a great hurry to get where they're going. This is particularly true of old men wearing hats. If you get behind an old guy wearing a hat on a winding road, you might as well just phone ahead on your cell and te”