I drink booze, I smoke, and I'm hooked on caffeine. I actually have been known to swear at times and belch and even raise my voice when provoked. And I'm not physically repressed!
I was looking very much for a career. My second marriage to Stan Herman had ended, and I wanted very much to be independent, not take alimony from him, be on my own, do the right thing.
Like family, we are tied to each other. This is what all good musicians understand.