I would tell anyone who wants something from someone else to feign not wanting it. People are perverse. If you show great affection to them, they'll run the other way.
“It is vitally important for me, both personally and for my writing, to be able to return to China freely, so being barred entry has caused me deep concern and distress.”
“I try to do that in this book without preaching - to try to do as you just said that you really have to defend the First Amendment rights of everybody.”