Beware of anyone who says they know. Trust me, they don't, or they wouldn't have to say they did.
When I write, I am not giving a lecture, I am speculating on behavior. Sometimes this is dangerous, but it should be. As I say often, theatre is a dark place and we should keep the light out of it.
You can't take people's opinions personally. Usually what people say about it is a reflection of them own issues.