Directing remains very psychological, and it takes a lot of time and reflection. When you're an actor, it takes less time, and you can express yourself physically.
Acting in anger and hatred throughout my life, I frequently precipitated what I feared most, the loss of friendships and the need to rely upon the very people I'd abused.
So there's always been this clash between what is the public good - that which belongs to all of us in common - and what can be exploited for a private interest.