I think many people have contradictions to them and I love characters that deal with those contradictions.
Give yourself permission to get the most out of your life. If you're spending all your time scrubbing corners with a toothbrush, you're kind of missing the point. Taking shortcuts doesn't mean shortcutting the end result.
I love playing with a full band, but there's just like a different feeling up on stage when you're playing with a smaller group. It's easier to play off each other.