My mother speaks of my step being a source of life-long pain to her, that it is a living death, etc. By the same post I had several letters from anxious relatives, telling me that it was my duty to come home and thus ease my mother's anxiety.
I go on expeditions for the same reason an estate agent sells houses - to pay the bills.
A sensible woman should be guided by her head when taking a husband, and by her heart when taking a lover.