Playing music is not really susceptible to theory much. Circumstances affect it so much.
I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
It's like you asked me about the depression thing: you grope towards an understanding of whatever it is your going through, and it's not personal, there are forces in play around you, and you seek to understand them and that way you can go on.