I can write a program that lets you break the copy protection on a music file. But I can't write a program that solders new connections onto a chip for you.
I felt that I ostracized myself by my behavior, by the past, by living with all the regrets of my mistakes, that I sort of wore a hair shirt and beat myself up most of the day thinking and regretting why did I make such a mistake? Why have I made so many mistakes?