I don't know why but it feels like home to me. The Scottish people are really friendly - you like to have fun and you don't care about anything, which is the same as I am.
I heard Sidney Bechet play a Duke Ellington piece and fell in love with the soprano saxophone.
The pain comes from knowing that we have never been safe, and therefore will never be safe again. It comes from knowing we can never be so ignorant again. It comes from knowing we can never be children again. Losing innocence. Remembering heaven. That was the essence of hell.