I hate birthdays. I hate birthday parties. I hate them. I don't know what it is, anybody's only got to come wafting near me with a piece of cake with a candle on and I break out in hives.
“Every year thousands of Americans mistakenly refer to Cinco de Mayo as Mexico's Independence Day.”
“It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?”