If I could stomach the awful part of being a veterinarian, which involves sticking your hand up animals' behinds, I would be a vet.
“Note to secessionist Texans: now is the time to wave the Confederate Flag.”
“Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.”