I play loud onstage for my own benefit as I like. But I'm not too fond of the P.A. either.
I only wanted to get married once, so when I felt I was ready to handle it, I looked at my relationships and noticed that boyfriends get tired of girlfriends, and vice versa, but you never get tired of your friends.
For me, the martial arts is a search for something inside. It's not just a physical discipline.