I think you have to control the materials to an extent, but it's important to let the materials have a kind of power for themselves; like the natural power of gravity, if you are painting on a wall, it makes the paint trickle and it drips; there is no reason to fight that.
Even if some days I feel like I'm ready to fall apart, I am ultimately happier than I've ever been. My family gives me more joy than I thought possible, and my career fulfills me tremendously. All in all, I feel like am in the exact place I am supposed to be in, doing exactly what I am supposed to b